Relationship

We’re highlighting the value of relationship this week. Of all of our values, to me, this one seems like the core value behind our vision and model of care in our child homes. Here at COTP, the hard reality is that each of our kids come to us with broken relationships. Kids come into our care for a variety of complex reasons when it’s no longer an option for them to be raised by their birth families. Those first relationships in their little lives were broken and that comes with an immense amount of pain, trauma, and loss. That is why our child homes are so critical, offering kids from tough places a few key consistent loving relationships from their houseparents and nannies to help them begin their healing process.

When one of my kids came into my home as an infant he rarely cried. I quickly realized that it wasn’t just because he was a super content baby, it was because at such a young age he had already learned that people couldn’t be trusted to meet his needs. He hadn’t had any consistent relationships in his life to care for him. He cried when he was hungry or scared or wanted to be held, but nobody came, so he learned that there wasn’t any point in crying and making his needs known. This is the critical point for so many of our kids when our houseparents and nannies have the chance to step in and to make a lifelong impact in our kids’ lives. I began carrying this little guy constantly, whether he cried for me or not. When he was hungry I responded to him. When he was scared I went to him. When he just needed snuggles (or I just wanted to snuggle him) I rocked him. His nanny did the same. Through his relationships with his nanny and I, he started to heal. He learned that he was loved and valued, that his needs mattered, and that the adults in his life were relationships he could depend on. Now, not only does he feel secure to make his needs known but he is the happiest little boy. He is well attached to me and he absolutely loves his nanny and lights up whenever she comes to work.

It is an immense honor as a houseparent to care for each of the little ones who has been entrusted to us for this season of their lives; a season when we’re not only teaching them what healthy relationships look like to help prepare them for their forever families, but even more so to point them to their Heavenly Father, who demonstrates perfect relationship in every way. It is an incredible privilege to be able to play a small role in this beautiful work of redemption.